Wednesday, January 26, 2011

a tree grows in brooklyn

Oh, and by the way:

"Let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry ... have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere-be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost."

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn- Betty Smith, Ch. 48

the return

Don't Stand So Close To Me - The Police

I'm sorry I haven't posted in more than a month. It's really for no apparent reason, I just didn't have anything to say, and I didn't want to post about my day to day life, because that would get incredibly boring incredibly quickly.

So, now that I have something somewhat actual to say, I'll get along with it.

For my English class, I had to write a narrative about the life of me (a la Frederick Douglass). In this narrative, you had to make a certain argument, and I chose to argue that as teenagers in this society, we are often invalidated because of our age. I argued this point quite vehemently, because in our final essay I made the same point. The whole time, however, I was taking on a very much "holier than thou" attitude. I believed that I was transcending age, and I couldn't fully achieve this because my peers with their crazy shenanigans were hindering me. Only after I recieved my grade (maybe a little before) did I have somewhat of a revelation.

I made that argument because I'm trying to make an excuse for the lack of success I have experienced. I'm trying to blame society and it's biases on the fact that I feel inadequate sometimes. I can't simply face the fact that I haven't done enough, or that I am simply too young. I would like to believe that I have the same benefits as someone ten years older than me, but that simply isn't true. As a fifteen year old in this society, I am not going to be treated as a thirty year old, as much as I want to be. But it's up to me to basically say "screw it" and do what I want to do. That, of course, does not mean have crazy sex or take a few shots during passing periods, it means that if there is something I want to acheive, and there is something societal that is holding me back, it's up to me to push past it. It's up to all of us to push past social norms and a single person's comment or a single person's belief and achieve what we want in life. We can't blame it on an abstract force of nature anymore, because we have the ability to do what we want.